There were six of them. Five bipedal lizard people. And one bipedal owl person, for some reason. They all wore matching jean shorts and black, formfitting tank tops that all said “Ryan’s Special Dreamboat,” for some reason. They were all also about three feet tall, for some reason.
“Looks like we found ’em, boys,” said the first lizard person, in a Cockney accent that sounded like it came from someone who had never met an English person before.
“Right you are, love,” said the second lizard person in a similarly insufferable accent. “What do ya think we should do wif ’em?”
“I fink we should gut ’em bof right here, and bring their heads back to the boss,” chimed in the fifth lizard person, who clearly could not just wait his turn.
“Um, guys, that just wouldn’t be very cool,” interjected the owl man in what was definitely not an attempt at a Cockney accent. The boss told us he wanted these guys alive, and you know he would be pretty mad at us if we didn’t listen to him. And, well, I know I just be really upset if we got into trouble.”
The lizard men paused. The first one walked right up to the owl man and looked him straight in the eyes.
“Damn it, Alan. You always give it harsh, but I know when you’re right.”
He turned back to the other lizard people. “You heard Alan. Just knock ’em around enough to get ’em back to the boss, but don’t kill ’em. Mates.”
The mutants turned towards Davy and Steve, baring their sharp teeth and claws. Steve slowly leaned towards Davy and quietly asked, “Why is one of them an owl?”
The fight was over quickly. There are many ways to describe what exactly happened, but it all boils down to the fact that the mutants were not very large and Davy had a golf club. Steve got a moderately sized scratch on his leg, but that was less a result of any successful attack by a mutant, and more because a lizard person flew too close to Steve as he was being launched into the air after being struck with a golf club.
It only took a couple of minutes before the mangled remains of the mutants lay strewn around Davy and Steve, all grumbling in pain.
The first lizard man slowly managed to get to his feet. “Looks like the Steward got a little more fight in ’em than we thought. Let’s go back and tell the boss.”
The owl man was the next to get back to his feet. “Sounds like a great plan, Brandon. But we should stop and get some antiseptic on the way. Some of those cuts look pretty nasty.”
“DAMMIT ALAN, I would cut you and your attitude down right here and now, if I didn’t respect you so damn much!”
As Davy and Steve watched the group of mutants slowly stand up and limp back down the street, Steve asked, “Shouldn’t we follow them or something?”
Davy lowered the golf club. “Probably,” he said. “But that whole thing just felt really, I don’t know, stupid. Let’s get something to eat.” So they did.