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16. Bus

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They were sitting in a bus. Davy had washed all the blood off himself and was wearing a grey hoodie. Steve was wearing a leather “Pilot’s Jacket” that he insisted all the astronauts totally wear when they’re off-duty. He was similarly cleaned up. Davy had refrained from asking Steve how he was able to clean himself now that his home was a Hideous House of Horrors.

Davy sat by the window, watching the scenery pass by. Davy found this relaxing. Even when he found himself feeling considerable stress, there was something about watching the endless swath of trees and marshes that put Davy at ease. Admittedly, Davy had decided he was not going to feel stressed anymore, but he still enjoyed looking out the window. His foot nudged against the backpack on the floor that he had brought with him. The golf club was strapped to the side of the backpack. As useless as it may be as an artifact, Davy conceded it was still handy for fighting off miniature agents of darkness.

Meanwhile, Steve was busy on his phone updating his online professional profile. He figured that if he was some kind of world-saving adventurer now, local employers in the area with opportunities just for him should be made aware of this fact. He clicked the icon to add a new job. He thought for a moment about what to put under “Job Title.” He typed down “Adventurer/Explorer.” He hesitated. After all, wasn’t Davy technically the lead explorer on this mission? He didn’t want anyone reading his profile to be misled about Steve’s role in saving the world. He thought about using “Assistant Adventurer/Explorer,” but Steve felt that made it sound like all he was doing was getting Davy coffee.

He thought about it a little more.

He settled on “Co-Adventurer/Explorer.”

Steve drew a blank when he saw “Company Name.” Who was he working for anyway? Was it the Gut Possum Lady? Was she working for somebody? Could he put her name down? What if she saw her name whenever she updated her professional profile that she presumably updated as frequently as Steve? Would she have a problem with this? Would she retaliate by biting into his flesh with her jagged possum teeth?

Steve typed down “Freelance.”

The last part was easy. For “Start Date,” he entered “Today.” For “End Date,” he entered “Present.”

His profile now fully updated, Steve basked in pride at his most recent job.

Steve Sharma

Co-Adventurer/Explorer at Freelance

Employed for 1 day.

Steve Smiled. If the remaining artifacts were as easy to get as the Ember Sack of Unrelenting Sorrow, then he’d have a perfect resume by the end of the week. He’d be the coolest guy at the next professional networking event. Satisfied, with himself, Steve decided to take a nap.

Nothing was going to get in Steve’s way.


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